Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Wait Three Days

Has anyone reading this ever had a fight with their spouse that was so bad that you considered getting a divorce? One and all, is it? No? Okay, everyone but the couple over there in the corner still holding hands. Good for you two.

The rest of you, I'm going to try to help. The fact is, many times people decide to get a divorce too quickly. Then when they have made their decision and started acting on it the "insistence on being right" kicks in and they don't want to admit they have made a rash decision.

There is a key to marriage here.

Many people have made decisions that they later have regretted. In my many years of helping people with their relationships, I have been told by many who had gotten divorced and then remarried that if they knew then what they know now, they would never have gotten divorced in the first place.

They had seen the other grass and it was not greener, only a different kind of grass. A more responsible way of looking at it would have been to think: It's not them, it's me. But let's not go there for now.

The truth is, it is all of us. Humans have problems and they do things they regret. How can one avoid from making rash decisions? The answer actually is quite simple. Wait three days. That's right. Wait seventy-two hours.

It takes a human mind that has been upset at the most seventy-two hours to settle down and reset back to normal again. You may get over the upset quicker than seventy-two hours, but if you are not over it by then, you may need some professional help with your marriage or relationship.

One way to help yourself get over things more quickly would be to remove yourself from the person or people and the environment where the upset has occurred. Take a walk for about forty-five minutes or more. Look at things while walking and attempt to extrovert your attention.

Whatever you do stay out of your head and don't think about it. Thinking is a very confusing and upsetting thing when a mind is angry, or scared, or upset. Stay away from thinking entirely. Do something that takes your undivided attention. Exercise. Read a book. Anything that takes all of your attention off the upset will do.

The more you extrovert your attention the better you will feel. But definitely, after seventy-two hours, things should be back to normal. You might even forget the subject you had been arguing about. One thing is for sure: you will see if the subject was really that important or even worth arguing about at all.

Few things in life are worth ending a relationship and creating future misery for the couple and their kids if they have any. You may ask, is divorce ever the right course of action? I will answer that question in my next article.

Until then remember that a happy marriage means a happy life.

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